Thankful

Today is a thankful day. I am thankful that I am 32. Two years ago was my golden birthday. I was so looking forward to that day. Ever since I was a little girl and watched my sister celebrate her 8th birthday, which was her golden one, I wanted mine to be memorable. I wanted to never forget the celebration of that day. Unfortunatley eight days earlier I found out the news. I was in no mood to celebrate turning another year older. Looking back I don't regret not having a bigger celebration, I now am just thankful. This blog is dedicated to those Iam thankful for. Through this journey I have had days were the gratitude has poured out of me. I have also had days where I had to dig very deep in my soul to find something to be thankful for. Here are a few things / people that have made my list.

First and foremost, God. Yep I am God fearing woman and have a strong faith.  Really without this I would not be here. To those that don't believe, I won't bible beat you. I am not that way. I just know for me this is my path. So you may ask, if I believe in God why would He let me have this happen to me? My response has been this... Why not? I don't believe God picked up a staff and said Child you will have cancer and you will go through a living hell just to make my day. I don't think He works that way. I do think He has used this to bring me closer to Him and has exposed others to His works. So my Faith was always there.

Secondly and so close to number one. My husband. I know how blessed I am to have him, and I do not take him for granted. He is truly my earthly everything. He was in the waiting room waiting for me to come out of surgery. He slept on a very uncomfortable cot in a gown to protect from infection night after night. The nurses taught him how to inject me with medication so we could come home. He also learned how to set up and run my i.v. so again we could come home. He pushed me to return to the hospital the three times the infections got bad and almost killed me. He took me to every single chemo treatment but one. He worked 50% less the year of surgery and treatment so he could be there for me and be my advocate. He gave up going out with his friends. He gave up Wednesday night bowling and weekends with the boys at the cabin. All he did on his own, I never asked, he just did it. He held me when I broke and cried, he made me laugh when I needed it. He changed the bandages over my 150+ staples in my stomach. He emptied the drainage bulbs that hung out of my sides. He became the stand in mom to our kids. There is so much more, but these are the majors. 

Next, and not in any particular order, I am grateful for my doctors. As you may have read I have one that stresses me out. Aside from him, I cannot tell you how phenomanal they have been. There at a later date will be a blog specifically for them and their treatment specialties. My mom, I don't know where to begin with her. We have a fantastic relationship. We have grown into wonderful friends. She too slept on the cot Chris slept on. Obvioulsly not at the same time, but when he went home to be with the kids she would drive back to Milwaukee to make sure I was not alone. When she wasn't with me she was at my house taking care of my kids and our dog. She made meals for us, she cleaned for us, she helped us out when money got tight. She also just listened when either Chris or I needed to vent. I am sure this experience was horrible for her, she was 29 also when she was diagnosed with cancer. She lived in Idaho at the time and did not have the resources for help as I did. I feel she is a strong awesome woman and am grateful for her. 

These next people deserve so much more than an honorable mention, but I am sure you are sick of reading. :) My sister and her husband. My mother in law and father in law. My other mother in law and father in law. My siblings in law. My two best friends. My cousin who is more like a sister, my aunts. Side note... My precious Aunt SB. She lost her battle to cancer this last October. She could relate to me like no one. I respect and love her so much. Her shoulder to cry on was the best. I hate that cancer is our connection, but I love that I could learn so much from her and that she understood me. RIP love, I love you. My kids school staff and other parents. They set up a month of meals for my family after we got home from the surgery. What an awesome help that was! 

After reading this again, I have realized there is so much more to post. But I think this is enough for one day. I hope I have not made you sick in all that I am thankful for. I for the most part am a positive person and felt the need to share the thankfulness with you. 

Till Soon...