Again, this one is easy. Pre-Cancer I would have said, I hope I never have to face cancer. Well, as you know I did. That was hard, hardest thing I have had to do. But you know what would be worse?
Burying one of my own. That would do it. I don't know that I would make it. Can't write anymore. It's too hard to even think of...
Sunday, December 8, 2013
Dave five, something I hope to do in my life
This one is easy for me.
I want to live long enough to retire with my husband. I want to move on to some land on a lake up north. I want to watch my children have children. I want to be healthy enough to love on all of them. I want to see my children succeed in all they do.
Sounds easy, right? Ever since cancer, nothing is certain for me. I want to do simple things.
If I have to answer this to the immediate future... I want to go to Disney World with my family. I want to take my husband on a trip to Alaska and do the Cruise thing there. I want to do the long cruise. The expensive one. I would be completely exhausted, but it would be worth it to see my husband smile and be happy.
This is what I hope to do in my lifetime, however short or long it will be.
I want to live long enough to retire with my husband. I want to move on to some land on a lake up north. I want to watch my children have children. I want to be healthy enough to love on all of them. I want to see my children succeed in all they do.
Sounds easy, right? Ever since cancer, nothing is certain for me. I want to do simple things.
If I have to answer this to the immediate future... I want to go to Disney World with my family. I want to take my husband on a trip to Alaska and do the Cruise thing there. I want to do the long cruise. The expensive one. I would be completely exhausted, but it would be worth it to see my husband smile and be happy.
This is what I hope to do in my lifetime, however short or long it will be.
Day Four, I need to forgive someone for...
I sat on this question for a long time. Why? Because I say I forgive most people for most things. This is true, I don't hold onto grudges or wrong doings. It just make my life better to let go. However, I had this written and then I was in the shower and the real story just came pouring out, so here it is...
I need to forgive a teacher from my high school days. This man was a very important teacher in my high school life. I either new of him or had him for every year. He was a big man on campus. To be in his good graces was to be in heaven, to be no his bad side, was a disaster to say the least. I have been in both places. The latter of the two, changed my life.
You see, my Sophomore year of school, I rebelled. Most kids do at some point. I changed friends, started hanging out with a rough older crowd, some of who were no longer in school. They either were older and graduated or older and dropped out. Why did I do this, because I could. It irritated my parents to no end. That was my goal. Mean to say, but honest.
So in that year, I learned how to skip school and get it cleared by someone on the inside. By the end of the half way mark of school, I had missed (but totally excused from) 52 classes. My parents found out, it ended. I got my punishment from them, and lived through it. I continued to hang out with the crowd, but my studies improved. The Sophomore year ended.
I went back to school my Junior year with a positive note. I changed a lot of my behavior and wanted to get an education. The teacher I need to forgive was tough man, as I said. It was time for try-outs for the extra curricular activity he was in charge of. Because of our positive relationship, I was positive I would make the cut. In fact, I did. Until, he brought me into his office and said, "Because of your behavior last year and missing so many classes, you are not on the team this year. I want you to learn a lesson. I put you on the team, but took you off. Learn your lesson and prove to me you will be a team player. You will be on the team next year."
I was heartbroken. Still to this day his heavy hand of discipline for me was wrong. See, I am not a bad person. Even when I was struggling I still got "B's" in all of my classes. My form of rebellion, wasn't smoking pot, wasn't drinking, it was leaving classes. Yes, I know wrong, but I still could have been so much worse. Also, I spent the last half of my Sophomore year making amends for what I had done wrong, I literally was bad for a total of 12 weeks. I thought I had with this teacher, but he chose to make an example out of me. Let me tell you, it changed my life.
Not, in a good way. Because of this decision, I did not try out my Senior year. In fact, I decided I was done with school and graduated when I was 17. He approached me my senior year and asked why I didn't try out, because I was guaranteed a spot. I smiled at him and said I wasn't going to waste my time for him to take it all away again. Then, I went on and did my last trimester of classes and graduated early. I turned 18 a few weeks after I graduated and then went to work full time until college started.
So even after writing this, I feel it in my soul, this. This is what I need to forgive. I forgive you Mr. Vine for trying to make an example out of me. Unfortunately, I was not a person that could learn from negative reinforcement, as so many children are not.
I need to forgive a teacher from my high school days. This man was a very important teacher in my high school life. I either new of him or had him for every year. He was a big man on campus. To be in his good graces was to be in heaven, to be no his bad side, was a disaster to say the least. I have been in both places. The latter of the two, changed my life.
You see, my Sophomore year of school, I rebelled. Most kids do at some point. I changed friends, started hanging out with a rough older crowd, some of who were no longer in school. They either were older and graduated or older and dropped out. Why did I do this, because I could. It irritated my parents to no end. That was my goal. Mean to say, but honest.
So in that year, I learned how to skip school and get it cleared by someone on the inside. By the end of the half way mark of school, I had missed (but totally excused from) 52 classes. My parents found out, it ended. I got my punishment from them, and lived through it. I continued to hang out with the crowd, but my studies improved. The Sophomore year ended.
I went back to school my Junior year with a positive note. I changed a lot of my behavior and wanted to get an education. The teacher I need to forgive was tough man, as I said. It was time for try-outs for the extra curricular activity he was in charge of. Because of our positive relationship, I was positive I would make the cut. In fact, I did. Until, he brought me into his office and said, "Because of your behavior last year and missing so many classes, you are not on the team this year. I want you to learn a lesson. I put you on the team, but took you off. Learn your lesson and prove to me you will be a team player. You will be on the team next year."
I was heartbroken. Still to this day his heavy hand of discipline for me was wrong. See, I am not a bad person. Even when I was struggling I still got "B's" in all of my classes. My form of rebellion, wasn't smoking pot, wasn't drinking, it was leaving classes. Yes, I know wrong, but I still could have been so much worse. Also, I spent the last half of my Sophomore year making amends for what I had done wrong, I literally was bad for a total of 12 weeks. I thought I had with this teacher, but he chose to make an example out of me. Let me tell you, it changed my life.
Not, in a good way. Because of this decision, I did not try out my Senior year. In fact, I decided I was done with school and graduated when I was 17. He approached me my senior year and asked why I didn't try out, because I was guaranteed a spot. I smiled at him and said I wasn't going to waste my time for him to take it all away again. Then, I went on and did my last trimester of classes and graduated early. I turned 18 a few weeks after I graduated and then went to work full time until college started.
So even after writing this, I feel it in my soul, this. This is what I need to forgive. I forgive you Mr. Vine for trying to make an example out of me. Unfortunately, I was not a person that could learn from negative reinforcement, as so many children are not.
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