Guess what? I got it. I'm back in. Did you know they have all of this information stored somewhere and all you have to do is answer some security questions. Then they send your information about logging in to your email and bam, you are back in. Like, duh, Scar, we all know that, right? Okay, so at least I can remember the security questions that I set up and now can access my. Maybe this will teach me not to stay quiet for so long. lol
Okay, so here's the thing. The other day I was reading a post from a page I follow. There was an article attached to the post about the power of positive thinking. Hmmmm, what's that you say? If I think negatively in life, then most of my outcomes will be negative and if I push for things to be positive and think things are positive, I may just see the silver lining more often? Wow! No really, it works. Try it. Well read the bloggityblog first, then try it.
So, some background on me. The majority of my life I have been positive. I've looked at the glass and seen it half full, no where near empty. It wasn't until recently (in the last two years) that I started placing the negative spin on things. Now, rightfully so, I have had a shitty hand dealt to me. However, it's not forever. Or at least I am hoping. It's just a part of my life. Just because I have had cancer and things are no where near the way they were, doesn't mean my life is over. In fact, I have been given a second chance in SO MANY ways! Here are a few...
I am much slower now, but maybe that's because I can stop and smell the roses with my kids. Or maybe it's so I can enjoy my life with them. In a few years my oldest (almost 14) will be 18. When I look back, I don't want to think gosh, I was too tired and too slow to keep up with him. I want to think, sure I was slow and I was tired but each moment we spent together, is was cherished because we took our time enjoying each other and our activities.
My daughter is heading into the teen years. This SCARES me, but instead of dreading it, I am going to relish the fact I am alive and I get to walk this walk with her. I am lucky, I am alive. I get to be here when she comes home from school and slams the door in my face. I get to smile at that damn door and thank the Lord I get to witness it instead of my husband witnessing it without me and wishing I was still alive.
Our youngest is enjoying school this year. NO MORE TEARS! This is huge. Instead of fighting with him on the daily to get up and get ready, he is dressed and ready for breakfast before I am ready for him. I can't think of a parable right now for him. But I will say he and I read together every night. We get to share that. I can't run around the yard with him because I am too tired, but I can lay in his bed or mine and share a good book!
My Hubs is stressed right now. Instead of making it worse by constantly reminding him I can't help him financially yet, I can make sure he has dinner when he gets home from work. I can make sure his work clothes are clean. I can make sure his life is happy outside of the stress that's getting to him.
As for my sickness, can I do everything I want to? No, but each day is another day, where I can do what I missed out on yesterday. Take today for example. I made and then canned apple pie filling. Why? Because it's good and the neighbor dropped off 6 pounds of apples. Am I tired? Yes. But in November when we want a pie and all the orchard apples are gone, I can make it for my family. Can I go to work right now? No. But I can be the best stay at home mom that I can be for this family. No, my house is not spotless. It's hard picking up after 5 sloppy people, a dog, three cats and two hamsters. But each day is a new day, a new oppertunity.
There was a time in my life when I couldn't go to bed if the house was dirty. I had to get everything done. Plus my homework, plus my everything. I would do anything for that life to be back. But instead of hanging on to that any more, I am embracing this positive lifestyle. Now, I may share with you when I have a roadblock and I need to just get it out. But I am going to try as hard as I can to make things be positive. That is the one thing I can bring to my present life that was from my pre-cancer life.
So I will leave you with these words... Life is what we make it. Sure there are some crappy things that happen. Instead of dwelling on those bad things, figure out how to turn it into a positive. Yes, if you need to grieve for whatever you are missing, do it. But don't stay there; long. The sooner you move forward and change your thoughts to positive the sooner your mind, spirit and body can begin to heal!!!! Try it. I know it makes a difference.
Sending love and HOPE to you all today!
Love, ~Scar
PS. I want to give credit to article that gave me the inspiration to blog about this. The page is "The Mind Unleashed." It is on facebook. I cannot find the article at the moment. I will try to link it in the comments at a later time.
